Your Favourite Lie — Script (Unfiltered Edition)
The one where you realise the liar in your life is… you.
“One folder says ‘Brutal Truth.’
The other says ‘Sweet, Sweet Bullshit.’
And you don’t even hesitate.”
INTRO — The Art of Choosing Bullshit
Right. Today, we’re talking about self-deception.
Or as I like to call it: the art of looking at a burning dumpster fire and convincing yourself it’s just a vintage fireplace.
You know the drill. You know you’re lying. I know you’re lying. But you commit to the bit with the dedication of an Oscar-winning actor.
“I’m not ghosting them, I’m just protecting my energy.”
“I’m not toxic, I’m just a perfectionist.”
“I’ll start Monday.” — The biggest lie told in the history of the human race.
We do it on purpose. With terrifying confidence.
It’s like your brain presents you with two folders.
One is labelled “The Brutal Truth.” The other is labelled “Sweet, Sweet Bullshit.”
And you? You don’t even blink. You grab the bullshit, put it on a plate, and ask for seconds.
And then you walk around with a straight face, genuinely believing your own PR team.
You don’t have a shopping addiction; you’re a “patron of the arts.” You’re not a coward who avoids confrontation; you’re just “emotionally intelligent.”
It’s professional-level delusion. Truly elite behaviour.
And the most pathetic part?
No one is holding a gun to your head. You’re the victim, the criminal, and the judge all at once.
You see the scam happening in real-time and you still go: “Yeah, looks legit. I’ll take two.”
So, welcome. Let’s talk about self-deception. The favourite hobby of people who can’t handle five minutes of their own reality.
Don’t turn it off right now. That would be… strategically disappearing, wouldn’t it?
MAIN — Participation, Not Confusion
Alright. Hello. Welcome back.
If you’re listening to this, thank you for coming back. And if this is your first time — welcome. This is a terrible place to start making good life choices. Honestly? If you’re looking for “inspiration” or a “safe space,” you’re in the wrong place. Door’s that way. Don’t let the handle hit you on your way out to your mediocre life.
I’m Noah. And yes, we’re back. Season two.
Same voice. Less patience. And frankly, I’m already wondering why I’m doing this again.
And before we do anything else — I need you here with me. Not in the background while you’re folding laundry. Not half-listening while you pretend to be productive at a job you hate.
Actually here. Because this season only works if this feels like a conversation. Not a speech. Not a lecture.
Have you ever caught yourself doing something and thought, even for half a second: “…this is absolute bullshit.”
Not a big, heroic lie. Just that quiet, casual, domestic kind. The kind of lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to admit you’re a coward.
And instead of stopping… you kept going. You leaned in.
That moment right there? That’s where things get interesting. Because that’s not confusion. That’s participation.
You see the lie forming. You watch yourself build this fragile little glass house. And your brain doesn’t even fight it anymore. It just goes: “Yeah. Sure. Let’s go with this. It’s easier than being a real person.”
And suddenly it’s not a lie. It’s a “lifestyle choice.” It’s your “truth.”
God, I hate that phrase.
“My truth” is just a fancy way of saying “The lie I’m currently comfortable with.”
Look at the society we’ve built. It’s a theme park of self-deception. We have an entire vocabulary designed to avoid calling ourselves losers.
“I’m a perfectionist.”
No, you’re not. You’re just paralyzed by the fact that if you actually tried, the world would see you’re average. So you don’t start. And you call it “perfectionism.” It’s not a standard. It’s a shield.
“I’m just waiting for someone who can handle me.”
Translation: “I’m an insufferable asshole with zero emotional intelligence.”
We don’t have shopping problems; we’re “supporting the economy.”
We’re not ghosting people; we’re “protecting our peace.”
We’re not avoiding conflict; we’re “emotionally mature.”
It’s professional-level delusion.
And the funniest part? You know exactly what’s going on — and you still go: “Yep. Sounds legit. Let’s do it again.”
PART 2 — Comfortable in the Filth
And this isn’t stressful anymore, is it? That’s the scary part. You’re comfortable in the filth.
You lie to yourself the way you lock the door. Automatically. Without thinking. It’s just part of the routine.
Your life is a series of well-rehearsed scripts you tell the mirror so you don’t have to face the fact that you’re wasting your one shot at being a conscious human being.
And listen — I’m not judging you from some ivory tower. I’m right there with you.
“I’m doing this podcast to change the world.”
Bullshit. I’m doing it because I like the sound of my own voice and I enjoy watching you squirm.
See? That’s honesty. It’s ugly, isn’t it?
This is why I want you involved this season. Because I don’t want this to be “me pointing at you.” This is us looking at ourselves and going: “…wow. We really are this pathetic.”
I want you to feel the cringe. The “shame” so deep that you want to turn this off. But you won’t.
Because deep down, you know this is the only real thing you’ve heard all week.
Think about the lie you use the most. The one that’s so well-rehearsed it feels like a personality trait.
Don’t justify it. Don’t decorate it with a mental health buzzword. Just clock it.
Look at it in the eyes.
Admit it’s a turd you’ve been trying to polish for years.
Because next time, when you hear yourself saying it — you’ll know exactly why you’re laughing.
And you’ll know why I’m laughing at you, too.
Welcome to Season Two. Buckle up, or get out.
OUTRO — Confession Time
Alright. That’s enough damage for today.
If you’re still here, congratulations — you actually survived fifteen minutes without running away or changing the subject. Barely. Progress… I guess.
Now, before you run back to your curated little life and pretend this never happened, I want something from you.
Think about that lie you use the most. Not the big, dramatic one you tell at parties to sound interesting. The boring one. The pathetic one.
The one you’re probably going to use about ten minutes after this episode ends to justify why you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do.
Yeah. That one.
Now here’s the fun part — I actually want to hear it.
Go to the Unfiltered Outsider socials. The real ones. @unfoutsider. Send it. Message it. Confess it.
No context. No explanation. No “but actually…”
Just the lie. Raw.
And if your immediate reaction is: “Nah, I don’t really do this. Noah’s just being cynical.”
Congratulations.
You just proved my entire point one last time.
You’re doing it right now.
Next episode? We’re doing this again. Different behaviour. Same human nonsense.
So subscribe. Follow. Or don’t. I’m not your father.
But don’t walk away pretending you’re above any of this.
That’s literally why you’re stuck where you are.
See you next time. Or don’t.
You’ll lie to yourself either way.
So I keep asking myself: Why are people like that?
Uninfluenced. Unpaid. Unfiltered. I’m Noah B Jackman and this is the Unfiltered Outsider.
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